how did we get here?

I really think people, politicians and civilians alike, really need to understand the age we live in. There are no longer days you can just say things off the cuff or in anger and not have your statements retweeted, shared, +1'd, and judged.

Take Rep. Todd Akin's comments on his stance on banning abortion. Disclaimer: I'm not Republican or Democrat and personally, i'm not sure about my stance on abortion but that's not the point of this exercise. Mr. Akin, what's the difference between legitimate rape and just regular rape? I'm sure the psychological damage for the women who are attacked in a regular rape is far less than legitimate rape victims. I guess regular rape victims are "asking for it."

Back in the swing of things...

I seriously don't pay attention to this thing as well as I should. I'm more interested in posting my thoughts in 140 characters or less and even that I'm more of a reader of sports news and other random information. However, I'm not going to give in and keep trying to get this blog thing off the ground.

I haven't felt the way I have over the past few months since the beginning of high school. I have had a hard time having confidence in myself and my abilities which is nothing like me. I pride myself on being able to be competent in any situation and never lack in self-confidence. I can easily put up  front but if i'm not really feeling like myself, my true friends can always tell. I think it's because I'm not doing exactly what I wanted to do with my life. (yes i know i'm only 25 and have plenty of time to get there) I just need to figure out my rhythm and crank life back up. I think football season/being back in Knoxville/seeing old friends will help me get out of this funk but only time will tell. 

Also, anybody who runs across this should go check out crpekarsk.blogspot.com . #teamcpekarsk #allday

There are so many things I would like to say and I will try to put them in the right words through this blog...

My friend, KB, and I have these interesting conversations in which we explain times that we have been called "normal" "more white than black" or "not all the way black" (hence the title of the blog). It has come to a point as we both reach that 25-35 transition age where we know who we are. We know what we want. WE don't have an identity crisis. The identity crisis comes from the outside. People say things not really understand the magnitude of their words. Do I feel pride in the Civil Rights Movement? Yes. Do I celebrate black history month? Yes. Do I believe racism exists? Yes, i've been subject to more racism than I would like to believe sometimes. Yet, Do I go around thinking all white people have it out for me like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton? Hell No.

It amazes me that for me to have a positive outlook on life, to dress well, and to speak with enunciation and social tact, this must mean that I'm "not all the way black." No matter what I do i'll always be subject to judgement based on what people see in the media or just on a regular Saturday night on Beale St. News flash people, I don't associate myself with criminals or girls that have a tattoo of a dragon around their thigh. If that makes me, "not all the way black," and subsequently means that you don't expect me to have 4 kids by 3 women or rob you at the next turn, that's ok. But I still am PROUD to be black. I'm proud to be a part of a group of people who for the most part have beaten the odds. I'm proud to be of the same ethnicity of greats like Martin Luther King Jr., Frederick Douglass, and Thurgood Marshall. You don't have to wholly compare me to the "real" black people you see and you feel like you have to clutch your purse tighter to your body as you walk by. I am my own person. I am Justin Shaw, the son of two BLACK people from impoverished backgrounds who worked their butts off to give me and my sister a better life. Why should I be ashamed of that? Why should I disrespect them by disrespecting myself? If someone has an answer for that, please explain it to me so I can understand where I went wrong in life.