There are so many things I would like to say and I will try to put them in the right words through this blog...
My friend, KB, and I have these interesting conversations in which we explain times that we have been called "normal" "more white than black" or "not all the way black" (hence the title of the blog). It has come to a point as we both reach that 25-35 transition age where we know who we are. We know what we want. WE don't have an identity crisis. The identity crisis comes from the outside. People say things not really understand the magnitude of their words. Do I feel pride in the Civil Rights Movement? Yes. Do I celebrate black history month? Yes. Do I believe racism exists? Yes, i've been subject to more racism than I would like to believe sometimes. Yet, Do I go around thinking all white people have it out for me like Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton? Hell No.
It amazes me that for me to have a positive outlook on life, to dress well, and to speak with enunciation and social tact, this must mean that I'm "not all the way black." No matter what I do i'll always be subject to judgement based on what people see in the media or just on a regular Saturday night on Beale St. News flash people, I don't associate myself with criminals or girls that have a tattoo of a dragon around their thigh. If that makes me, "not all the way black," and subsequently means that you don't expect me to have 4 kids by 3 women or rob you at the next turn, that's ok. But I still am PROUD to be black. I'm proud to be a part of a group of people who for the most part have beaten the odds. I'm proud to be of the same ethnicity of greats like Martin Luther King Jr., Frederick Douglass, and Thurgood Marshall. You don't have to wholly compare me to the "real" black people you see and you feel like you have to clutch your purse tighter to your body as you walk by. I am my own person. I am Justin Shaw, the son of two BLACK people from impoverished backgrounds who worked their butts off to give me and my sister a better life. Why should I be ashamed of that? Why should I disrespect them by disrespecting myself? If someone has an answer for that, please explain it to me so I can understand where I went wrong in life.
