WTF is this?????
OK OK OK.. I know what you're thinking, "Well, Florida did win a Football National Championship and 2 Basketball National Championship in recent years, they have a lot to party about" Yes, my dear dear child, this is true..But let's think this crap out... Ok every year, the Princeton Review goes around asking question after question surveying student after student (this article highlights that over 120,00 students were surveyed) to come to their final ranking of colleges in partying, biomedical engineering, and fucking hot females... However, you have to realize one SMALL detail.. Even if they are surveying 120,000 people for this ranking, they are leaving out somebody...THE PEOPLE HUNGOVER FROM THE PREVIOUS NIGHT'S PARTY...The mofos down at UF party.. yes they do but NOBODY PARTIES LIKE A VOLUNTEER....Shit they surveyed 120,000 people-- we can get almost that much at one football game (i understand the results would be only slightly skewed)...Florida students get up and go to class the next day..which is why they can take pointless surveys to vote for themselves to become the best party school...Tennessee students are running to class with the same clothes from last night looking like a train just hit them and they miss the survey that was taken at the first part of class...or shit they just don't even bother to make it.. All i'm sayin.. is in the south you're either a Volunteer or a F(lorida). A(labama). G(eorgia)......
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Breaking News: Thinking Too Much Kills Relationships...
Many times in relationships we find ourselves either overreacting about a particular instance where your loved one did not call you back when they said they would, when they haven't done this the previous 8,000 times. OR we find ourselves, thinking what the hell did I do to make him/her think that I'm out to get her, we're in this together, right? (That's the definition of a relationship) Well, I'm sorry to say folks, but this thought is sooo wrong. Now, I'm talking to my 18-23 crowd who isn't married, especially to my guys. Your relationship/friendship is not about you and her working together to get the most out of life. It is her trying to mold you into something she can see herself with in the future. So when she flips out about a little thing that you had NO IDEA would elicit such a reaction, it's because she's frustrated. She's frustrated because her futile attempts at making you that "knight in shining armor" she's been dreaming of have wound up in the crapper.
Now here's one of the things that gets under my skin THE most... I have this ex-girlfriend who i have tried to be cordial with, because for some reason I didn't want to burn that bridge. You know, I make small talk make sure she thinks i'm interested in what she has going on in her life but I find myself asking why (over and over and over again)? Why do I make such attempts to remain her friend when she thinks I have to be all about her or not? She will send me oh about 12,000 instant messages without one response from me like she doesn't need me to have a conversation, which she really doesn't. She thinks soo damn much that when she doesn't get a response from me her mind starts churning and next thing you know, I deleted her out of my phone and never want to talk to her again (at least that's what's going on in her mind) How bout we just think? If I don't respond, I'm either not at my computer or I'm ignoring her, which could be a very good explanation, BUT why would i want to bring the headache onto myself? I don't like her hating me or thinking i'm hating her so that's out of the question. So, it has to be I'm not at the computer, which is 99.9% of the time (the other .1% is when I'm at my computer but i'm listening to music/typing a paper and i don't see her im come up)...
ALL i'm saying is, Stop thinking... Not to stop the functioning of the most important part of your body...I'm just pleading with all the women out there, the ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, friend girls, moms, sisters, ALL OF YOU.. Give us the benefit of the doubt, we like hitting our fingers with a hammer as much as we like being in this situation with you... Don't over think situations. Take them as they are. We already have no clue what you want from us (such is the downfall of the male gender). Just give us a break. I swear if that comes true even THE JUST ONE will find a girl to spend his life with... I believe I already have...
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
You can't bullshit a bullshitter? Yea Right...
You know that saying, "You can't bullshit a bullshitter." Well to me the statement is flawed from jump street. Like everything in life, I believe there are different levels in each classification of anything. There are different levels of religious folk (i.e. your devout christians, fair-weather christians, etc.) I mean that there are some bad bullshitters out there, you know, the guys you can smell a mile away. I see myself being one of those supreme bullshitters. Like my "About Me" section, I can make you lie to yourself about something you know to be true. Bullshitting is a skill, there are those who are great at it and there are those who should not make their living as a Sports Talk Radio Host (or any host for that matter) or as a Lawyer. Now this isn't to say that bad bullshitters cannot climb up the "Ladder of Bullshit," if you will. Like any skill, Perfect Practice makes Perfect. (On that note, "Practice makes perfect" is bullshit in it's own. If you are bad at something, say, like golf, and you practice the same bad shot every hole spinning into yourself into a state of irate that you've never been before in your life, then you will be the worst golf player ever known to the game. Practice makes habit so Perfect Practice makes Perfect) Ok...Sorry about that. Now where were we?
If you want to become the best bullshitter out there and get yourself out of any situation like a speeding ticket that will suspend your license (i like the excuse, "Officer, I was speeding to the next exit because I am about to have a extreme case of diarrhea."), then get into arguments that don't matter any chance you get. However, this may cause problems in your inner circles , i.e. they may become smaller in some cases. Nonetheless, you will become the best bullshitter out there and maybe one day, just one day, you MIGHT be able to step toe to toe with THE JUST ONE...
If you were living under a rock last night, here's history....
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